How MLP: FIM Met Your Mother
by Toxic Wastenote
Summary: A bunch of HIMYM scenes that I've ponified in MLP: FIM. This has no plot or anything just a funny parody I came up with while sleep deprived.
1. Twilight Might Be Pregnant

**Up late watching clips of How I Met Your Mother and reading My Little Pony fan fiction and this is what you get. I can't actually say I'm proud... but I'm defiantly not ashamed.**

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**Clip 1: Twilight Might Be Pregnant**

Discord lies on the floor of Princess Twilight Sparkle's bedroom, knocked out cold. Then a bucket of water dumps on his face and his eyes snap open as he gasps for breath. Standing just over him is Twilight herself levitating the now empty bucket before tossing it behind her.

"What happened?" Discord questions as he slowly starts to lift himself off the floor. "Did I pass out?"

Twilight gave a slightly irritated sigh, "Not exactly."

_A Few Moments Ago_

Twilight and Discord sitting side by side not looking at each other on her bed.

She takes a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."

Discord turns to her in disbelief or possibly shock before letting out a small sigh and looking at her. "Are you sure you're not just getting fat?"

Twilight growls and quickly slams her hoof into his face as hard as she could, effectively knocking him cold and to the ground.

_Present_

"Oh yeah," Discord slurs as he slowly gets up and rubs his sore cheek. Standing up he stares at Twilight, "So um... you're pregnant."

Twilight lets out a sigh and nods.

Discord exhales, "Hun, looks like nopony told your complection."

Twilight once again angrily slams her front hoof into Discord's muzzle and knocks him down and out with a girlish squeal and yelp.

_A Little While Later_

Once again Discord rises from the floor of Twilight Sparkle's bedroom. "What happened? Did I pass out?"

"Oh my-" Twilight readies her hoof to punch once more but Discord cowers in fear half way up from the floor.

"Please stop hitting me!"

Twilight angrily sighs again and let's the annoying nuisance get to his mixed-match feet.

"Ok," Discord says as he holds his cheek "are you sure you're..."

"Well no, not positive. I'm a week late, but I am never late. It's a point of pride with me." She sighs again and taps her hoof in worry. "I'm gonna go see the doctor on Monday to find out for sure. Until then, not a WORD of this to anypony." She emphasizes the major points in her sentences with swinging her hooves in a 'NO' fashion.

"Not even- Flash Sentry?" Discord questions "I mean, it's probably his. I've spent centuries training my boys to swim the other way."

"Flash and I haven't had sex yet," Twilight quickly says. "If- I'm pregnant... you're the dad."

There's a small pause in the conversation.

Discord takes a large breath. "That's..."

All thoughts of horrible outcomes flashed through Twilight's mind. He'd leave, turn _himself_ back to stone, she'd raise a foal on her own, all alone.

"... wonderful!"

Twilight's jaw slackened. "Huh?"

"I'm gonna be a daddy!"

Twilight feels her head hurting, she sways, then she falls to the floor and ends up landing on cotton candy while unconscious that Discord had snapped up.

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**Clip one complete. Clip two is a go in **

**3...**

**2...**

**1...**


	2. Rainbow Dash Can't Have Foals

**Hate it or like it, I'm doin' another clip. Roll it!**

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**Clip 2: Rainbow Dash Can't Have Foals**

Rainbow Dash sat on the examination table in slight shock. "I can't have foals?"

The doctor sadly nodded, "Basically, yes."

Rainbow couldn't help but slouch back. "Yeah well, good. I mean, I've never wanted foals. I've never really liked foals. I've never ever, ever, ever wanted to be a mom!"

_Years Later_

Rainbow awkwardly smiled at the filly and colt Pegasi sitting across from her with frowns. "Sorry kids."

_Back in the Present_

"At times like these it's good to a have friend to be able to talk to about this."

Rainbow Dash thought about what her friends were like, then about how'd they'd react.

_**Twilight would ask a million questions she didn't know the answers to...**_

Twilight had a note pad and a pencil in her magic grip.

"Does this run in your family?"

"Well my-" Twilight however kept cutting Dash off for another question.

"Have you thought about adopting?"

"Well not really-"

"What was the date, flow, and consistency of your last menstrual cycle?"

Twilight waited for an answer, but Dash was frozen in shock and disgust.

_**Applejack would fill her with comfort foods...**_

Applejack set a full plate of apple pie in front of Rainbow Dash, who already had a full stomach that was bloating.

"Come on sugar cube. Keep eatin'. Just forget all about that there bad news!"

Rainbow sits up and dashes to the bathroom to vomit into the toilet.

_**Fluttershy would start crying...**_

"I can't believe I wasn't there for you! I can't do anything!" the Pegasus bawled "I AM SUCH A BAD FRIEND! WHAAAAAAA!"

_**...and then it would turn into Dash comforting her...**_

Rainbow slides over next to the crying mare and hugs her. Only for Fluttershy to rip away violently.

"YOU HAVE TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE!"

_**Rarity would insist that pampering would soothe her pain...**_

Dash grunts as the masseuse works her back too hard during the massage.

"Ahhhh, just relax darling. Let all the pain out. That's it. Why are you so tense Rainbow?"

Even worse was the masseuse was Rarity.

_**And Pinkie would bend over backwards to get her to laugh...**_

"Hey Dashie! Look, look!" Pinkie Pie hopped up and down to gain her friend's attention. "Why did the chicken cross the freeway? No wait! Not the free way, the road! And it wasn't a chicken, or- I guess that doesn't matter. But why did the non-specific bird cross the path which ponies travel?"

Rainbow just sat confused as to what she was supposed to say

_**...and when that'd fail she would actually bend over backwards...**_

"Hey Dashie, watch this!"

Pinkie dropped a banana peel on the ground and then backed up as far as she could go before running full speed straight for it. She slipped on the peel and did a back flip in the air before falling back to the ground on her face.

_**So as much as she loved telling her friends everything...**_

"Dash?" Twilight asked. She and their other friends were all in the library. "Is something wrong? You look a little down."

_**...when they asked what was wrong...**_

Dash mumbled, "Yeah I uh..."

_**...she just said the first lie that came into her head...**_

"I just found out I can never be a professional pole vaulter. I'm... too tall."

And all her friends went into over drive.

"I AM SUCH A BAD FRIEND!"

"Have you considered slouching at line ups?"

"I'll go make some fresh apple fritters, and pie, and-"

"How about a massage! That sounds wonderful, doesn't it?"

"A changeling, a rabbit, and Princess Luna walk into a castle. No wait not a rabbit a mole! And the changeling is blind! But you weren't supposed to know that!"

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**I am not proud, but I will not stop! At least not until I get bored...**


	3. Shining Armor Sucks

**Shame on me for enjoying writing this! Shame! Ha, ah hahaha! I have no shame, can't even keep a straight face saying that.**

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**Clip 3: Shining Armor sucks**

"I do not over compensate!" shouted Shining Armor.

"Oh really?" said Twilight.

"Yes, really," Shining Armor crosses his front legs and smirks 'triumphantly'.

"Oh, and what about the time you tried stand up at the Chuckle Hut and got booed off stage?"

Shining froze, then narrowed into a glare at his sister.

"Hay! I WAS funny, they had no taste!"

"No, because after you did a complete one-eighty on your routine. Remember?"

Shining thought back… back…back…

_The Chuckle Hut_

Shining is wear sun glasses, a black jacket, and a toothpick in his mouth as he held the microphone up on stage.

"And then ah said, 'Flounder? Ah don't even know her!' Oh!" He looked out over the audience of ponies watching him.

"You suck!"

Shining removed his glasses and stared out at the mare that had called him out.

"Cadance?"

His wife sheepishly smiled and shrugged. Not sure what to say to her frowning husband.

_Present Day_

Shining face hooved. "Of course."

Twilight grinned.

"Was it really that bad?"

Twilight nodded and Shining Armor groaned.

"Well aren't I the flank of the joke," he looked up hopefully that he had actually gotten a laugh.

"You still suck!"

His smile disappeared again. "Cadance?"

His wife gave the same sheepish smile and shrug she had given him that night at the Chuckle Hut with a nervous laugh too.

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**Dear god I have to stop but I can't! I'm addicted to this crud! I'm in love with sin, like Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus or Selena Gomez. (For the record I love all of them to an unhealthy extend)**

**And that's how I saved America! Wait… crap! Lost track. Ok, um… where was I?**

**Whatever, peace baby!**


	4. Cadance Needs A Win

**To be honest I never thought anyone would like this. But since they do, I guess I'll keep goin'….**

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**Clip 4: Cadance Needs A Win**

When Princess Cadance and her husband, Shining Armor, decided to start trying for a foal, she had assumed it would happen right away. However, after two months of trying and nothing still her hopes started getting a little down.

Now, both wait to see if this time would be different.

Candace holds a pregnancy test in one hoof, a grim smile on her face. Right behind her is Shining, a similar smile and hoping just as hard.

The test finally shows up…

"It's negative," Candace frowns.

Shining pats his wife on the shoulder and turns away, trying to stay smiling.

Cadance's nerves were starting to get to her. Two months without doing something most couples did on accident was starting to mess with her head.

A tiny version of Shining Armor appears before her on the pregnancy test, right at the 'I' in the 'NEGATIVE' result.

"Negative?" he questions in a squeakier voice "well we know it's not me!"

Cadance shakes her head, trying to stop having the illusion. "I-It's ok. These things… take time."

"Not with a Sparkle!" the tiny vision of her husband said. "Something must be wrong… with YOU!" The little Shining laughs at her mockingly. "Also, my mom hates you!"

Cadance feels eyes narrow and snarl at the negative test.

"Yuh know," she says out loud, catching the real Shining's attention "just to be sure I'm gonna pee on this again."

The little Shining stops. "No… You wouldn't!"

Cadance gets up and heads toward the bathroom, smirking.

"Somepony help me! SOMEPONY HELP ME!"

Unfortunately for the little Shining, no one could hear him scream…

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**In all honesty, Lily and Marshall would defiantly be the equivalent to Cadance and Shining Armor. At least they are in my opinion.**


End file.
